Wednesday, 27 July 2011

Motivation and illness.

Tough times here at the ranch. Well, not a ranch, so much. More of a house. Not on the prairie, either. More… in a town, really. The first part of the sentence was correct though. The bit about the tough times.

I'm struggling to find time to run at the moment. For example, last night I took the dog with me to combine her walk with my run, which didn't really work. I mean, it was fun, but it's too hot for her, as it's over 20 degrees and she won't take that fucking fur coat off, so what's a boy to do? Shave her?

A big thing for us at the moment is my Lovely Wife's diagnosis by exclusion. The doctor is working out what isn't wrong with her, and whatever's left is what she's got. Looking at the symptoms and reading the literature, we're in agreement that it's what used to be known as ME, now more commonly called Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. Why are these things always syndromes??

Aaaanyway, the thing is, it leaves my lovely, active, fit and healthy wife with absolutely zero energy. Nada, zip, Jack Shit, fuck-all. I'm typing this at 5:30pm and she's in bed, hopefully getting an hour's sleep. She was so active, and so fit, that to see her like this is almost as suck-assy for me as it is for her. Well, maybe not. But it's bad. She's frustrated because she can't get out on her mountain bike any more. She can't run, in fact there's very little she can do, so we have to plan days around her, pacing her energy. Like now - hopefully she'll wake up refreshed and be able to spend the evening with her daughter at the cinema tonight. We shall see.

However, it does mean more work for myself, which isn't a problem. I'm just struggling to fit running in around it. I'm having to actually use my brain to fit it in. For example, right now I'm going to prepare a salad, then get dressed for a run. Go out, do a few miles, then when I come back all I have to do is warm some garlic bread and make couscous, and her dinner's pretty much done. Planning ahead…

There just aren't enough hours in the day right now.

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