Rough, smooth. Swings, roundabouts. Good stuff, shit stuff. No light without shadow. No farts without stink.
Which reminds me of a great joke I heard recently. Why do farts smell? So deaf people can enjoy them as well.
So, with a recent small change in my financial status, I reinvested the money somewhere I haven't really used it before - myself. I realised recently I got stuck in the victim-saviour cycle, which is a load of old shit and no good for anyone. Hell, the woman I'm interested in now probably fits the same profile. I'm being careful, analytical and sensible though.
Anyway, there has been a decided lack of investment in myself. So I've taken a small amount of cash money and employed the services of a coach to help me put some focus into my training and see just what I might be capable of. This is with half an eye in the future on completing an Ironman, and in the short term of shifting some of the bulk I have added in a year of being drunk to hide from the basic agony of getting through the days.
See, now I'm a lot happier, more settled, and my shit is considerably more together. Hence, the investment.
So we started just shy of three weeks ago. The first thing I noticed, at the end of the first week, was just how much I fucking hurt. I realised how lazy I had become in my running. Don't get me wrong, I can run up hills a mountain goat would turn its nose up at. But I can do fuck-all else. There's a functional fitness, and there's a deeper version, where you can race, where your body is in balance and is working with the greatest efficiency you can achieve. I was functional.
I've been doing MAF runs, easy runs, very specific gym workouts for strength and stability, all sorts. It's been really fascinating, not least to see how my body has responded. Tone and muscle always comes quite easily to me, but after relatively easy workouts on paper I've felt like I've been beaten up. But god, I felt so STRONG!
And the running - I started to see what I might be capable of. I don't have a competitive mindset, so it's finding the right way to push myself and the right coach to make me want to push myself. It had to be someone I respected and did not want to let down, and I think I found that.
I lost about 8lbs in ten days. I felt fan-fucking-tastic. Then I went on a business trip, had a few days of easy running (travel - so frigging tiring!), and came back feeling like I had the worst jetlag in history. I'm completely flat, no energy, nothing. Small hills are leaving me feeling battered; I have absolutely nothing in the tank. To go from how I was feeling to this in such a short time is just fucking heartbreaking. I was getting somewhere!
On the plus side, I haven't put the weight back on. So that's something. When I kick whatever it is that is leaving me so weak, I will be kicking fucking ass. I have NEVER enjoyed training this much. S'good.